The Daily Dose 10/7/2011 – Ten Years of Afghanistan War cartoon and Top Ten War on Terror jokes

Ten Years of War in Afghanistan editorial cartoon and Top 10 War on Terror jokes

“The war on terror is no joke, because most people who try to make it funny just end up bombing it.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 War on Terror jokes”

10. Economy: Frustrated by high unemployment and low salaries? Learn to make things that go “Ka-Boom!” and make money on the Afghan market.

9. Food: In Kabul, a new chain of sweet food vendors are marketing an Afghan version of the Cinnabun, called the Talibun, available until the Allied forces complete their withdrawal. 

8. Irony: In 2011, the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded on the 10th anniversary of the US-led military operations in Afghanistan and the ongoing War on Terror.

7. Technology: Would drone strikes and the War on Terror be as unpopular if instead of exploding things, they were planting cash crops?

6. Iambic Pentameter: Ten years of the war in Afghanistan were launched by the acts of a now dead man.

5. Politics: Politicians don’t kill people in war. People kill people in war. Proof that politicians are not people.

4. Haiku: Osama went nuts. He attacked America. Ten year wars take guts.

3. Internet: You can’t solve the War on Terror with a social network. It takes a killer app.

2. Religion: Like the battle of religion and skepticism, both sides are in it to win it. They believe their way is the only winning way. Yet at least one of them will be wrong.

… and the #1 War on Terror joke  is:

1. The Beach Boys are very disappointed that after a decade of the War on Terror, America has yet to bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/07/ten-years-of-war-in-afghanistan/#ixzz1a6Zo2RWO

The Daily Dose 9/21/2011 – UN Der PRessure political cartoon and Top Ten Middle East Peace Process jokes

Sarkozy Obama pressure Abbas and Netanyahu Political cartoon and Top 10 Mideast Peace Process jokes

“September in New York … what better time and place is there to ignore major issues and focus on the neverending story known as the Mideast Peace Process?” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Mideast Peace Process jokes”

10. If it walks, talks, looks, smells and sounds like a never ending war, it must be the Middle East Peace Process.

9. Efforts to diffuse the Mideast showdown are a perennial act at the United Nations, because no one can agree on whose felafel balls are the tastiest. 

8. President Obama and President Sarkozy have been pressuring Palestinian President Abbas not to apply for statehood at the U.N., mostly by threatening to veto any such attempt, and by suggesting that there are other options available in the meantime, namely, negotiating the status quo until the Military Industrial Complex figures out the best way to monetize their side of the conflict.

7. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is terribly worried that the U.N. General Assembly will vote to recognize the State of Palestine, because it would mean the IDF will have to switch from crushing Palestinian terrorist cells to crushing a Palestinian terrorist army.

6. The truth is that the Palestinians are the last people who want to have a state of their own. After all, what donor nation will keep giving the Palestinians annual handouts to produce poorly made bombs and missiles?

5. Close quarters cause tensions, as witnessed in the Middle East Peace Process, and in the halls of the UN Headquarters.

4. Courageous visionaries are required to solve the Mideast Peace Process. The problem is that they’ve pretty much all been violently cowed and blinded by the warring parties. 

3. The easiest way to solve the Mideast Peace Process is to vacate the entire Middle East of human beings, but then what would diplomats grandstand about every time they meet at the U.N.?

2. Never mind the Arab Spring, the tsunami and nuclear disaster in Japan, the terrible state of the world economy. The UN remains vigilantly focused on the sideshow issue of the Mideast Peace Process.

… and the #1 Middle East Peace Process joke  is:

1. As far as the United Nations bureaucrats and political windbags are concerned, when it comes to Mideast Peace, Process is better than Resolution.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/09/21/sarkozy-obama-pressure-abbas-netanyahu-on-un-platform/#ixzz1YfftNeli

The Daily Dose 9/20/2011 – President Obama political cartoon and Top Ten Buffett Rule jokes

Puffet President Obama Political cartoon and Top 10 President Obama Buffett Rule jokes

“Warren Buffett thinks he should pay more taxes. Maybe he should just pay everyone’s taxes for a couple years.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 President Obama Puffet Rule jokes”

10. If if looks like an oracle from Omaha, moves like an oracle from Omaha, and sounds like an oracle from Omaha, it must be another political tax on the rich.

9. President Obama has ruined a well-known man’s reputation as a free market American capitalist by seeking $3 Trillion in spending cuts and taxes and naming it the “Buffett Rule”. Jimmy is upset. 

8. It seems as though President is spending too much time in Margaritaville, and that’s why in his drunken stupor he named his latest tax-the-rich part of his economic plan the Buffett Rule.

7. Warren Buffett is so happy to have a tax named after him, that he’s going to celebrate the achievement by giving away more of his hard earned dollars to the government, rather than giving his secretary a better salary.

6. Don’t feel bad for Warren Buffett’s secretary. She will always be known as the woman who paid a higher tax rate than the Oracle from Omaha to the Obstacle named Obama.

5. Giving the government more money is like giving more cocaine to a cocaine addict … with the biggest weapons arsenal, and you git ‘er done with the Buffett Rule.

4. Thirty years ago, America was the world’s leading creditor. Today America is the world’s leading debtor. Do you speak Chinese yet? No worries if you don’t. In the next version of the Buffett Rule, rich people will pay for your classes.

3. President Obama wants to pay more of his own money in taxes. Never mind that he can print all the money he wants.

2. President Obama thinks the Buffett Rule will solve America’s debt crisis, because it’s hard for him to see well through his own smoke and mirrors.

… and the #1 President Obama Puffet Rule is:

1. Three Words: Puff Puff … Pass.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/09/20/obama-more-money-will-work-this-time/#ixzz1YVTTVK4O

The Daily Dose 9/18/2011 – President Obama Sleeping on the Job political cartoon and Top Ten jokes

President Obama Political cartoon and Top 10 President Obama Job Performance jokes

“Critics of President Obama say he is taking too many days off when he should be hard at work solving America’s problems, like, how many more wasteful entitlements can he safeguard by begging China for more money.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 President Obama Job Performance jokes”

10. People who complain that Obama takes too many vacations should at least be thankful that on those days he’s not around the office spending more money.

9. You know President Obama can’t be sleeping too much, not because of his job, but because of all the time he spends chatting online. 

8. The truth is that President Obama has taken far fewer vacation days than his predecessor, because as he put it, he’s still “cleaning up the mess” Bush left for him at Camp David.

7. If you were to grade President Obama’s Job Performance, you would have to consider the fact that he inherited policies he did not like, and faces a lot of politicians that don’t like him.

6. You can’t judge President Obama’s job performance by his results alone. Remember, he has Dreams of his Father.

5. If President Obama were performing any better at his job, the White House would be flooded with angry phone calls … from China. 

4. The job performance of President Obama isn’t black and white, or something you can judge in three years’ time, but it is something you can understand the day after the 2012 presidential elections.

3. When you think that all is lost and America is going down the tubes, just remember, YouTube is an American company, and President Obama gave you an endless font of Hope and Change.

2. Don’t blame President Obama for the State of the Union. He’s just stars as the messenger in the current Act of political theater.

… and the #1 President Obama Job Performance joke is:

1. President Obama’s Job Performance can be summed up in three words: Miss Clinton Yet?

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/09/18/president-obama-sleeping-on-the-job/#ixzz1YI5u3Jbw

The Daily Dose 9/13/2011 – The American Jobs Act political cartoon and Top Ten jokes

The American Jobs Act Political cartoon and Top 10 American Jobs Act Political Theater jokes

“The American Jobs Act is so entertaining, the President is bringing it with him on a nationwide sales tour.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 American Jobs Act Political Theater jokes”

10. The American Jobs Act – Coming Soon … to a Political Theater Near You.

9. Reading The American Jobs Act May Be Hazardous To Your Health.

8. Passing the American Jobs Act may be Hazardous To Your Economy.

7. Stay Calm And Carry On Ignoring The Details of the American Jobs Act.

6. Giving a stump speech, President Obama waved around a copy of the American Jobs Act. Held together by a Bull Clip, the poor thing didn’t even get a glossy shiny folder. Times are tough, even for haphazard legislative bills.

5. If the American Jobs Act were employed by the U.S. Government, it would be put to use as a janitorial service, used to clean up the mess of the previous economic stimulus and bailout bills. 

4. Pity the American Jobs Act. The best chance it has at ever becoming law, is if the House Republicans forget why they were sent to Washington, and they’re enjoying their Tea Party too much to do that.

3. Economists point to the utter failure of previous economic stimulus and recent bailout bills as sufficient reason to pass the American Jobs Act bill into law.

2. Three Words: No More Bailouts.

… and the #1 American Jobs Act Political Theater joke is:

1. If you don’t like the American Jobs Act … you’ll really hate the conclusion … the American Jobless Act.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/09/13/american-jobs-act-coming-soon-live-on-c-span/#ixzz1XpCMHZf7

The Daily Dose 9/8/2011 – American political cartoon and top ten donkey and elephant jokes

U.S. Political cartoon and Top 10 Democrat and Republican jokes

“Democrats and Republicans toss verbal barbs at each other, because it makes them seem like they have a point.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Donkey and Elephant jokes”

10. Donkeys and Elephants both live perfectly fine out in the wild. The problems between them only arise once you add humans.

9. Donkeys have big mouths and make a lot of noise. Elephants have big trunks and make a lot of noise. Which explains why those are the mascots of the leading American political parties.

8. A donkey and an elephant walk into a barn, and suddenly it’s a farm joke.

7. A pig in a wig is still just a pig, and a pig in a Whig is an old school politician.

6. A donkey and an elephant walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “We don’t normally allow beasts in here, but this place can use a couple party animals.”

5. Once upon a time, a donkey and an elephant hosted political parties, and to this day, no one knows why anyone went.

4. A donkey and an elephant were tasked with protecting America, which they did by painting maps of the United States in Red and Blue, and they usually left Alaska in White because of all the snow.

3. A donkey can kick hard. An elephant can charge hard. Both are terrible at managing a national budget.

2. A donkey can save farmers a lot of hard work. An elephant can save a hunter a lot of hard work.  Mostly, though, they don’t do much at all.

… and the #1 Democrat and Republican joke is:

1. A Democrat wears a donkey lapel pin. A Republican wears an elephant lapel pin. There should be a new party that everyone agrees with: The Lapel Pin Party. Perfect for political pinheads.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/09/08/political-filler-lite-jobs-great-less-taxing/#ixzz1XS05S0hn