The Daily Dose 10/29/2011 – Sweet 16 cartoon and Top 10 #Occupy Laughter jokes

365 Awful Ways to #Occupy your Sweet 16 Year book title editorial cartoon and Top 10 #OccupyLaughter  jokes

“On the 16th birthday of The Daily Dose, Laughzilla was seen running amok, making a joke out of everything he saw.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 #OccupyLaughter jokes”

10. #OccupyGroans – When all else fails, groans beat silence.

9. #OccupySocialMedia – Social Media disproves the theory that people don’t LOL when there’s no one else around them.

8. #OccupyFunny – Because there is not enough of it going around to the other 99%.

7. #OccupySitComs – Because Cheesy Sucks.

6. #OccupyRomComs – The 1% of tissue paper companies control half the absorption of tears in the corny chick flick moments.

5. #OccupyHilarity – It’s time for the other 99% to get a bigger share of the best laughs.

4. #OccupyCartoons – The Other 99% don’t draw all their life lessons from cartoons.

3. #OccupyStandUp – Because 1% of comedians control half of the most famous routines.

2. #OccupyLateNight – Because 1% of late night comedy p0wns half of the audience share.

… and the #1 Occupy Laughter joke  is:

1. #OccupyPunchlines – The 99% demand funnier jokes from the 1% of comics in charge.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/29/book-you-never-read-365-awful-ways-to-occupy-your-sweet-16th-year/#ixzz1cAxRRId1

The Daily Dose 10/28/2011 – Confessions of God cartoon and Top Ten #OccupyReligion jokes

Confessions of God book title #OccupyReligion editorial cartoon and Top 10 Occupy Religion  jokes

“And as God gazed upon the breadth of his domain, he wept, for he realized that the people were too occupied with religion.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 #OccupyReligion jokes”

10. #OccupySocialMedia – If Organized Religion was nearly as useful to you as Social Media, why are most of your friends not following your faith?

9. #OccupyTelevangelists – It makes great TV.

8. #OccupyInternet – If Religion is supposed to adhere to the old ways, why are there any religious websites?

7. #OccupyNature – If man was meant to follow any particular religion, why are there so many?

6. #OccupyScience – Religion proves that Science is imperfect, because .

5. #OccupyHaiku – Religion is good. It proves some adults, like kids, need supervision.

4. #OccupyBelief – If you can believe that Religion is part of God’s plan, then why did he give you one that makes your life so unpleasant.

3. #OccupySkepticism – 1% of the most powerful people believe what the other 99% know is nonsense.

2. #OccupyIndoctrination – Teaching our children that the best way to relate to religion is to stay out of it and exercise free will.

… and the #1 Occupy Religion joke  is:

1. #OccupyGod – Demanding a fair share of divinity, because the top 0.000000000000000000000000000001% of the Universe controls the welfare of the other 99.9999999999999999999999999999%.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/28/book-you-never-read-the-confessions-of-god/#ixzz1c5bMt6sd

The Daily Dose 10/27/2011 – New #OWS and Capitalism Book and Top Ten #OccupyWords jokes

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Brain Share #OWS Capitalism book title editorial cartoon and Top 10 Occupy Words  jokes

“If you lack sympathy for fat cat Wall Street executives who carve up the world for profit, then you’re one of the cold, heartless 99% that fails to understand the economic hardships of the wealthiest 1%.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 #OccupyWords jokes”

10. #OccupySocialMedia – Friend, Follow, Circle – You Aren’t Steve Urkle.

9. #OccupyKitchens – People Are Calmer On Full Stomachs.

8. #OccupyInternet – How SPAM Killed Email as the Killer App.

7. #OccupyNature – Destroying Beauty.

6. #OccupySpace – Destroying the Universe, one Galaxy at a time.

5. #OccupyHaiku-IfYouCanMakeItForTwo-ThatWouldBeGoodToo – Yes We Can make it. If hope and change will take it, we will not break it.

4. #OccupyShelfspace – The Super Stories of Super Stores.

3. #OccupyTime – Tick Tock Watch the Clock. Did you remember to secure the lock?

2. #OccupyOccupations – DIY Bailout – Just Like The Government.

… and the #1 OccupyWords joke  is:

1. #OccupyGenius – This Group Is By Invitation Only and includes these different thinkers: Steve Jobs. Albert Einstein. Jim Henson. Mozart. Groucho Marx declined to accept.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/27/book-you-never-read-brain-share-what-ows-loves-about-capitalism/#ixzz1bzL4f2xQ

The Daily Dose 10/26/2011 – Shoestring Theory cartoon and Top Ten shoe string jokes

Shoestring Theory book title editorial cartoon and Top 10 shoe string  jokes

“Shoe string theory is very convenient, except when you trip over yourself because you forgot to tie your laces.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 shoe string jokes”

10. Social Media: Shoe string theory says that all things are connected on a subatomic level. So why does anyone need Social Media? 

9. Physics: Everything is connected. Everything is relative. All relatives have souls. So your soles are connected to your neighbor’s Great Aunt Methuselah, even when she’s cackling and chasing you around with her rolling pin.

8. Internet: If shoestring theory states that everything is connected, then why does my computer say it’s Not Connected to the Internet?

7. Nature: If mankind was meant to use shoestrings, why weren’t we all born with shoes on our feet?

6. Meta-Physics: An object can exist in two places at once, especially if it is tied together by a shoestring.

5. Haiku: Shoestring theory rules shoemaker business models, built upon our soles.

4. Politics: The shoestring theory of politics dictates that you connected to the acts of government even if you can’t tie your shoes. 

3. Capitalism: The shoe string theory of capitalism argues that when the wealth is controlled by the few, there is a tie-down effect to the many.

2. Iambic Pentameter: William Shakespeare wrote many sonnets, his shoe string theory lost in a bonnet.

… and the #1 shoe string joke  is:

1. Occupy: #OccupyShoeStrings is a protest movement against the wealthiest 1% of souls who control the other 99% of soles.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/26/book-you-never-read-shoestring-theory/#ixzz1btEzdUln

The Daily Dose 10/24/2011 – Black walnut Herman Cain cartoon and Top Ten Occupy Ice Cream jokes

Herman Cain editorial cartoon and Top 10 Occupy Ice Cream jokes

“After dinner, Occupy Wall Street is going to Occupy Ice Cream Parlors, in a show of tasty rage against the ‘creme de la creme’.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Occupy Ice Cream jokes”

10. Economy: When the American economy was strong, consumers loved Bubba flavored ice cream. Now that the economy is suffering and Americans are getting sick of the ruling Oreo flavor, the People are trying out more exotic flavors, like black walnut.

9. Haiku: She loves Black Walnut. It’s no flavor of the week. Taste that Herman Cain.

8. PR: Herman Cain has decided that in addition to his 9-9-9 plan, black walnut ice cream will be included free in his reformed national health care plan.

7. Education: You can Occupy Ice Cream even if you don’t have a good education.

6 Iambic Pentameter: If you would like to occupy ice cream, don’t eat too fast or you’ll brain freeze and scream.

5. Walnut vs. Wall Street: OccupyWallStreet protesters find it easier to demonstrate against Wall Street bankers after eating some black walnut ice cream.

4. Irony: 50% of the ice cream flavors are controlled by the wealthiest 1% of the ice cream connaiseurs, which results in a very messy situation, due to the inverted cone, trickle-down theory.

3. Social Media: Herman Cain used Social Media to share the ice cream flavor he chose to occupy. Do you like it?

2. Politics: If ice cream occupies any part of your thoughts, then in 2012, would you rather re-elect Oreo ice cream, or try black walnut for a change?

… and the #1 Occupy Ice Cream joke  is:

1. Business: You might not be able to profit from occupying ice cream, but the downsizing is sweet.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/24/black-walnut-starring-herman-cain/#ixzz1bnCKIypK

The Daily Dose 10/23/2011 – Book titles cartoon and Top Ten book titles jokes

Book titles book cover editorial cartoon and Top 10 literary prejudice  jokes

“Occupy Wall Street and its offshoot movements are yet to publish a book because they believe that in order for it to be morally good, it can’t actually be written by anyone.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 book titles jokes”

10. Social Media: Don’t buy this book. Get it free from your online friends. 

9. Capitalism: How to save money by not buying this book.

8. Internet: Improve your vision by reading this book printed on paper, rather than reading it on the Internet.

7. Quick Draw: The graphically illustrated guide to paintings and drawings in a non-visual format.

6. Competition: This book kicks the butt of every other book around it.

5. Haiku: This book is for you. It’s true. It’s full of haiku. You know you want to.

4. Politics: The Encyclopedia book of Honest Politicians featuring Honest Abe, and that’s pretty much it. 

3. Business: Forget the Prophets. Remember the Profits.

2. Iambic Pentameter: The book that you now hold in your own hands, is not available in many lands.

… and the #1 book titles joke  is:

1. Assumption: The book of things you thought you knew, but didn’t.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/23/book-cover-of-book-titles-book/#ixzz1banftl7r

The Daily Dose 10/16/2011 – Business cartoon and Top Ten 99 pecent jokes

#OccupyWalMart business cartoon and Top 10  99% jokes

“Pity the wealthiest 1%. If the 99% get their way, the uber-rich may have to reduce the number of luxury jets they own.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 99% jokes”

10. Economy: Wall Street economists don’t understand what the 99% are complaining about. They suggest, instead, that we just assume everybody is wealthy and just managing their wealth poorly.

9. Haiku: Ninety-nine percent want what the one percent have, to be diminished.

8. PR: The 99% are scoring terrible public relations points in conservative media, because unlike the wealthiest 1%, their viewers can’t relate to the protesters.

7. Education: The 99% protesters blame the wealthiest 1% for not paying enough while the 53% pay for the unfocused demonstrators to kvetch, not to work, and ignore the math.

6 Iambic Pentameter: Ninety-nine percent has set up a tent. They’re demanding more jobs and lower rent.

5. Walton vs. Wall Street: WalMart is owned largely by Mrs. Walton, America’s wealthiest woman, who got her money the old fashioned way. She inherited it. Wall Street suggests more people in the 99% try that.

4. Irony: Less than 1% of the population is actually out there, protesting and claiming to be in the 99%.

3. Social Media: The wealthiest 1% love the 99% using social media to organize their Occupy Wall Street movement, because they own them.

2. Politics: In Washington, DC, The #OccupyKStreet movement is welcome to wait in the lobby.

… and the #1 99% joke  is:

1. Business: The top 1% of the top 1% wealthiest people support the #OccupyWallStreet movement. However, the other 99% of the wealthiest people, do not.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/16/business-walmart-and-the-99-percent/#ixzz1awDQlNcN

The Daily Dose 10/15/2011 – Agri-tech farm energy business cartoon and Top Ten agri-tech jokes

Hi-Tech vs. Low-Tech feedstock editorial cartoon and Top 10 agri-tech jokes

“You might not think farming is hi-tech, if you forget that a windbag energy farmer named former U.S. Vice President Al Gore invented the Internet.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 agri-tech jokes”

10. You can’t get a seed without a plant, and you can’t grow a plant without a seed, unless you use agri-tech to clone or hybrid a mother plant.

9. Haiku: Agri-tech business. Harvesting the energy for making money.

8. The global recession would be a lot less stressful if all those poor, unemployed Wall Street bankers would go into agri-tech and keep shoveling crap just like they’re used to. 

7. Would the #OccupyWallStreet protest movement be as popular as it is, if all those angry people were busy working agri-tech jobs?

6. How differently would agri-tech have evolved if it weren’t for Darwin?

5. Politics is a lot like cattle farming: It takes a lot of bull.

4. If he worked an agri-tech job, what would Jesus do?

3. Will we colonize other planets faster if all those unemployed NASA rocket scientists switch to agri-tech careers?

2. Agri-tech is not at the leading edge of social media networking technology, because most folks don’t want to make “Friends” with another pig or cow.

… and the #1 agri-tech joke is:

1. It takes a village to raise a child, it takes a farmer to feed a village, and it takes a village to raise a barn. Out of those three, barn-raising is easier and much more fun. 

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com. 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/15/hi-tech-feedstock-vs-low-tech-feedstock/#ixzz1aqd2LlYf

The Daily Dose 10/14/2011 – LMFAO political cartoon and Top Ten protest movement jokes

LMFAO protest sign political cartoon and Top 10 protest movement jokes

“Protest signs are proof that many people need better spelling.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Protest Movement jokes”

10. Haiku: Where there’s injustice, protest movements can help change the system in time.

9. Economy: Why doesn’t some of that government bailout money just get redirected to pay protest movement participants?

8. HR: What do HR people look for in candidates whose occupation is participating in any protest movement?

7. Education: Students don’t learn to support protest movements in school. Students learn to support protest movements in spite of school.

6 Wally World vs. Wall Street: Would the #OccupyWallStreet protest movement be as significant if all the rallies were held at Wally World?

5. Iambic Pentameter: The protest movement that you want to join, is helpful if it gets you some more coin. 

4. Politics: Anti-political protest movements can’t exist. 

3. Social Media: If it weren’t for social media, would people like modern protest movements so much?

2. Irony: An organized protest movement for chaos.

… and the #1 Protest Movement joke  is:

1. Business: Unemployment numbers would surely drop if the protest movement organizers would hire the unemployed participants to make signs saying things like “This Sign Earned Me Some Capitalist Cash.”

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/14/lmfao-protest-sign/#ixzz1aljjU9Yh

The Daily Dose 10/12/2011 – Anonymous business cartoon and Top Ten Anonymous Business jokes

Corporate Anonymous business cartoon and Top 10 Anonymous Business jokes

“Fat Cat Wall Street executives love the Anonymous business occupying so much local space, because it keeps the authorities focused on the protesters and well away from big business.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Anonymous Business jokes”

10. Wallet vs. Wall Street: You can’t #OccupyWallStreet if you’re too occupied with your wallet.

9. Education: You can’t get a degree at Wharton on managing Anonymous Business, but you can get a good Wall Street job with a Wharton degree and watch the #OccupyWallStreet protesters from your office window.

8. Politics: Just like the Tea Party, you can’t actually vote for Anonymous. And just like the Tea Party, you can buy pirate Anonoymous masks, t-shirts and bumper stickers. Campaigns are not won without trade.

7. Ethics: Would the Anonymous business model have better forecasts if they had a transparent management structure?

6 Haiku: Anonymous is like watching the Great Oz Wiz, with that big mask biz.

5. Iambic Pentameter: If you think that Anonymous is new, apparently tech news is not for you. 

4. HR: It’s hard staffing the Anonymous offices. No one knows anyone who works there, especially the people that work there. And the people that do work there can’t confirm it. 

3. Irony: What would the #OccupyWallStreet movement say if Anonymous business got so big, it became a large, wealthy, multi-national corporation?

2. facebook: There are a lot more anonymous users in facebook than facebook users in Anonymous.

… and the #1 Anonymous Business joke  is:

1. Business: Now that #OccupyWallStreet is a budding global phenomenon partly aimed at changing corporations, corporate brand licensors are working on deals to market the Anonymous logo and slogan.

Reference: Yasha Harari for TheDailyDose.com.

 

Read more: http://thedailydose.com/2011/10/12/selling-anonymous-mask-and-slogan/#ixzz1alhXei6q